I didn’t expect to love it THIS much or feel THIS confident. I feel like I have to remind myself why I did this here. I did it because I needed to stop feeling pretty. I’m not saying that I am pretty. I am not using that word to imply that I am conventionally good-looking. But I mean it in the sense that every girl feels constrained by the bounds of pretty. I mean it not in an active sense of the word, but in a passive sense. Because, I think it’s a pretty passive word. Sit still, look pretty. I was just so sick of feeling like I needed to look a certain way and feeling really self-conscious if I didn’t. My friend Claribel just chopped off her big beautiful sexy locks on a whim because she said she really needed to liberate herself from how her awareness of the male gaze influenced her thoughts and her actions, if not consciously, then subconsciously. I understand that. For me, I just also wanted to do it as a marker. I’m too chicken to shave my head entirely. But it’s not like I want to be completely bald. I just want to be bald enough to let people know that no, pretty is not my priority right now. So you don’t have to treat me like a “pretty (Asian) girl,” (whatever connotations that label holds in our society). It makes me feel insecure and I’m sure it’s a burden on you, too. I just wanted to feel more like a human than like a girl. But I just have to remember that change comes from within. Or maybe I have already changed, and that’s why I went through with it in the first place.

I didn’t expect to love it THIS much or feel THIS confident.

I feel like I have to remind myself why I did this here.

I did it because I needed to stop feeling pretty. I’m not saying that I am pretty. I am not using that word to imply that I am conventionally good-looking. But I mean it in the sense that every girl feels constrained by the bounds of pretty. I mean it not in an active sense of the word, but in a passive sense. Because, I think it’s a pretty passive word. Sit still, look pretty.

I was just so sick of feeling like I needed to look a certain way and feeling really self-conscious if I didn’t. My friend Claribel just chopped off her big beautiful sexy locks on a whim because she said she really needed to liberate herself from how her awareness of the male gaze influenced her thoughts and her actions, if not consciously, then subconsciously. I understand that.

For me, I just also wanted to do it as a marker. I’m too chicken to shave my head entirely. But it’s not like I want to be completely bald. I just want to be bald enough to let people know that no, pretty is not my priority right now. So you don’t have to treat me like a “pretty (Asian) girl,” (whatever connotations that label holds in our society). It makes me feel insecure and I’m sure it’s a burden on you, too.

I just wanted to feel more like a human than like a girl.

But I just have to remember that change comes from within. Or maybe I have already changed, and that’s why I went through with it in the first place.

Sep

12

2011

14 notes

Notes

  1. pandemoniumxx reblogged this from thisizliz and added:
    you
  2. sarahisbetterthanliz said: lolol I need to talk to you.
  3. xpiishpoosh said: I remember when I was too chicken to shave it all earlier this year because I was afraid of what my date to the dance would think. HAHAHA. So jealous that you could go through with it.
  4. mymindismypantry said: YOOOO I WANTED TO DO THAT!
  5. ohmylulbeanz said: OMGOD LOVE ITTTTTTTT I WANNA DO THIS SO BADLY TOO
  6. cmao said: LIZZZZ THIS LOOKS SO GOOD AHHH I thought about doing this ALL SUMMER and still haven’t made up my mind. AHHH you are so inspiring, I am so glad you did it!
  7. thisizliz posted this

CUDDLE FUDDLE by DEDDY