February 2012
5 posts
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Margaret: Yeah. Well—I love him! Mother: (laughs) No. You are confusing love with a pity for a big loser. Ahahaha. Watched the first twenty minutes of All American Girl (first and only Asian American sitcom) expecting to be offended. But after I got past some of the inaccuracies, it really grew on me. Wonder what it would have been like to grow up with an AsAm Fresh Prince.
Fcccck. I should be doing work right now.
Sometimes I get scared that there will be a rogue app on facebook that lets people know how much you stalk them.
(whisper): Then everyone will know.
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Ascertaining political bullshit from Spiritual...
Step 1: Learning to tune out what people* have to say.
But that’s all I got so far.
*when I say people, I mean…well, that’s the hard part.
January 2012
12 posts
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things i would really like to do this break:
laundrydaze:
Start communicating with God again.
Figure out what friendship really means.
Write up proposal for research.
Figure out whatever I need to figure out so I can finally stop having nightmares about you-know-who.
Love family enough.
Stop being crazy/delusional.
Fuck everything else: live/laugh/love.
Returning to Iowa in about five hours and looking over this list, feeling very...
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Laundry Love →
Jun, who studied engineering in South Korea, used to run a gas station after first immigrating to the U.S. with his wife in 1980. “I got robbed about three times. Ah, it was bad,” recalled Jun, during an interview at last month’s Laundry Love event. “I thought to myself that I didn’t want to risk my life like this just to make a living. I thought I should do something safe. Instead of a...
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Oh no! :(
UghhhhhI can’t tell if I keep screwing up my life or if life keeps screwing me over.
But FUCK!
I just realized something though, as I was staring at the black romper that my brother ordered online for my birthday (the first present he’s ever bought me, or possibly anyone—awwwwwwww). It came two sizes too large, has rips and tears all over it (seriously, I order stuff...
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WatchReasons why I will never leave my Church, no matter how frustrated I get with it.
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no discretion necessary
I remember one time, we clasped hands. You, me and mom. I was three and literally the center of the world, because the two of you were my everything. I remember being swung up, down, back and forth. Flanked by the two of you like trees—as grounding as roots, supportive as branches, protective as shade. I think I felt more simple joy and pure security than I ever remember experiencing.
I...
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Last night I had a dream that the Church...
I was talking to D last night about (among many other things<3) how I felt like my faith was sort of shattered in LA and how I felt like I was struggling to pick up the pieces. I told her how hard it was for me spiritually because I kept going back to certain churches and KEPT picking fights about sexual fluidity. Maybe it was my fault for being difficult. I didn’t know why I kept...
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My New Year's Resolution?
Don’t change a thing.
December 2011
7 posts
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The Traveler →
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“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential....”
– Maya Angelou
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Confession? I almost didn’t want to come home.
Finals were done with, hell weeks were over, and I could finally sleep again.
But I felt like I could keep cranking out papers like a sleepless machine. Like I’d finally crossed a finish line but I wanted to keep running because I realized I wasn’t running towards anything. I was really just running away from…real shit.
It...
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I wish you shelter from the storm A cozy fire...
Currently...
listening to Wale’s album while eating both ricecake AND cheesecake for dessert. I love being Korean American around the holidays.
I decided to keep writing in this blog and keep laundrydaze as an inspiration board. I think my time off of tumblr has been constructive, but I had no idea how much I depend on tumblr to organize my thoughts. I think I need to think more. About things that I...
November 2011
7 posts
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DEAR FRIENDS:
I have permanently moved my mental outlet to laundrydaze.tumblr.com.
I just feel like I’ve outgrown this blog. I don’t feel the need to blog about the same things anymore. I read back on my entries and it’s like reading your high school diary. Not in a necessarily shallow way. I just feel like I’ve grown. A lot. Musicbox almost seems like a time capsule now.
Anyways,...
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“What were two ways the British improved the lives of Africans?”
– 2006 New York State Regents Exam
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laundry daze →
I’ve started a new tumblr.
Because I’m SICK and TAAAH-ard of scrolling through some these so called “inspiration blogs”!
Uh huh….blonde girl with sun twinkling hair…blonde girl in sexy 50s getup…blonde girl leaping into arms of blonde boy…brunette girl being skinny…
WOW. I NEVER KNEW INSPIRATION COULD FEEL SO DISEMPOWERING.
I’ve...
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I’ve been working at the preschool here.
I bet none of you knew.
I don’t like telling people. Because whenever I tell them, they go “AWWWWWWWWWWW. YOU MUST HAVE THE BEST JOB EVARR.”
LITTLE DO THEY KNOW, every time I walk in that building, my self-esteem goes down just a little bit.
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This. This. This.
Just some of the stuff that’s showed up on my dashboard today that made me feel sick.
I’m reading about conceptions of the immigrant childhood right now for my history of american education class. I just came across the part where the angsty culture-torn immigrant teenagers blow up at their parents for the cultural dissonance they experience in the home versus in...
October 2011
7 posts
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I never learned how to swim.
I had to take lessons for school in the eighth grade, I paid for private lessons, and I’ve had friends try to teach me.
I never learned how to swim.
But I can’t say that I tried. My instructors tried. I never tried.
It wasn’t the drowning I was scared of. It was the fear of getting chlorine in my nose. It was the fear of letting go of the ledge. It was the fear of getting...
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WatchAt this point, I’ve talked to so many different people about their takes on religion/spirituality. More people than I had ever assumed live their lives guided by some transcendent belief…it’s beautiful. So beautiful that I’ve questioned much of my own beliefs.
But no matter how much my faith has been broken down, nothing speaks as loudly or cuts as deeply for me as this.
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September 2011
10 posts
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BRB. "Spirtual pilgrimage"/"finding myself" pt. 2
I realized why it felt like I was being torn apart. I’m changing. Simple as that.
Now that I’ve accepted that, I’m in love with life all over again.
I’m not scared anymore. I love who I am, and who I am won’t change, no matter how much of me does change.
I trust myself. I trust God.
I love.
(I don’t think I’ll be blogging about it though. This started...
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Four Noble Truths
Suffering does exist
Suffering arises from attachment to desires
Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path
Wow, can you imagine suppressing all of your desires for a week?
And not just want of material things, like money; but want of affirmation, want of security, want of answers, want of enlightenment, wanting to be...
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“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to...”
– Margaret Cho
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room decorating
collegekids:
Jenny and I have a GIANT room. Like, it’s MASSIVE. Like, we literally do not know what to do with so much space.
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“I’m lost and looking for the sky, for moving parts and a place that doesn’t...”
– I Wrote This For You
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August 2011
22 posts
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confidence is key
Packing. Saying sad goodbyes and see-you-laters/probably-nevers.
Before Tony left, I asked him if he had any parting words of advice for me. Without missing a beat, he told me to be more confident.
Ofcourse, I got defensive. HE was telling ME to be more confident? HA.
But then he explained himself and what he’s seen of me and I’ve just been thinking about it.
For some reason, I...